Verdict wiping sitting down or standing

[Ants!]

*bangs eggplant*

Another one from that canada guy. I think he must be on drugs.

 

[Jon]

*bangs eggplant*

Another one from that canada guy. I think he must be on drugs.

If you're older than 3, it better fucking be sitting down...

 

[Ants!]

If you're older than 3

Depends on if we're talking about my maturity level.

 

[Kat]

I've never understood this debate. Don't your butt cheeks close while you're standing? Does "standing" mean something besides standing all the way up?

 

[Jon]

Depends on if we're talking about my maturity level.

I mean years, because you may still need your parents to wipe your ass lol

 

[finlandguy]

People wipe their ass standing up?

What?

 

[finlandguy]

I'm in the shitter right now. There is about to be some science happening very soon.

 

[Jon]

I'm in the shitter right now. There is about to be some science happening very soon.

 

[finlandguy]

Deed: Done
Ass: Wiped
Hands: Washed
Hotels: Trivago

Conclusion: I sat down and stayed sitting down when wiping my ass.

 

[A Maybe Baker]

I use a bidet and that would be very messy to stand up while it's going.

 

[Ben]

Define "sitting down"? Does this mean cheeks on seat throughout the action, or does lifting but staying in a squat count?

Regardless I can't imagine "standing up" to be the correct answer in any situation.

 

[Benzine]

this is surely temporary ban worthy at least

 

[A Maybe Baker]

Define "sitting down"? Does this mean cheeks on seat throughout the action, or does lifting but staying in a squat count?

Regardless I can't imagine "standing up" to be the correct answer in any situation.

I believe leaning to the side counts as sitting. Squatting may need to be classified as it's own thing.

 

[canadaguy]

I'm a sitter, but I'm kinda surprised seemingly none of you heard about the debates about this?

 

[canadaguy]

*bangs eggplant*

Another one from that canada guy. I think he must be on drugs.

 

[Jon]

I'm a sitter, but I'm kinda surprised seemingly none of you heard about the debates about this?

 

[canadaguy]

 

[A Maybe Baker]

Oh I definitely know of the debate here. It's weirdly split fairly evenly overall.

 

[shortkut]

I wipe myself while I am sitting

When I wipe my children, I can be sitting or standing, depending on where we are. At home we have a stool I can sit on, but out of the house I stand

 

[Ants!]

I lift my butt so I can actually reach it but I stay stooped over instead of standing all the way up.

 

[Ben]

I move away from the mic seat so I can breath in wipe.

 

[Mark]

What kinda monster stands fully upright, makes a Nutella on toast with their asscheeks, and then proceeds to clean up at a minimum twice the mess?

Absolutely fucking bonkers.

I bet they also waffle stomp turds down the shower drain.

 

[A Maybe Baker]

Stand and clench for maximum wtf

 

[Mark]

Stand and clench for maximum wtf

Oh you better believe if someone cops to doing that shit (pun intended) here, I’m going to convene with the panel of admins and we’re going to figure out a way to make their profile reflective of that life decision they’ve made.

 

[dimmerwit]

I move away from the mic seat so I can breath in wipe.

It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out.

 

[Jon]

It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out.

 

[The Flame]

I was under the impression the vast majority are sitters and that everyone just makes that transition at a young age. I'm a sitter shitter myself ever since I was probably a preteen, but nothing wrong with standing. You put one foot up on the seat.

Save the death sentence for the jif people imo

 

[Kat]

nothing wrong with standing. You put one foot up on the seat

Umm what now?!

Save the death sentence for the jif people imo

Ohh this is an excellent court case idea.

Whenever I've seen this debate in the past, it's usually split between "some people stand to wipe?!" and "some people stay completely sitting and stick their hand into the bowl?!" I suspect it's slightly a different definition of "standing" but it's also that some people lift more than others.

We seem to all agree completely standing up straight is madness, and enough threats have come out at this point that it's unlikely anyone would admit it going forward even if they disagree. So let's just disregard that scenario.

Let's define sitting as "at least some part of your ass remains in contact at all times" and standing as "your ass entirely leaves the seat. It's irrelevant how much you straightened your legs out." Based on that definition, do you sit or stand? It's still sit for me.

I'm open to other definitions of "standing", but obviously it can't mean the typical thing you imagine when a person is described as standing.

 

[The Flame]

Umm what now?!

For optimal cheek spreadage. I can't imagine any other standing method that wouldn't be uncomfortable. Are there people who have never wiped standing up and just assume people do some weird squat or something?

 

[Nae'blis]

What kinda monster stands fully upright, makes a Nutella on toast with their asscheeks, and then proceeds to clean up at a minimum twice the mess?

Absolutely fucking bonkers.

I bet they also waffle stomp turds down the shower drain.

Damn you, I laughed out loud at this at work. The kids are now giving me weird looks.

Also, I've never heard of this debate...

But I'm totally a sit wiper! Anything else would be unhelpful for cleaning purposes.

 

[Ben]

Let's define sitting as "at least some part of your ass remains in contact at all times" and standing as "your ass entirely leaves the seat. It's irrelevant how much you straightened your legs out." Based on that definition, do you sit or stand? It's still sit for me.

I'm open to other definitions of "standing", but obviously it can't mean the typical thing you imagine when a person is described as standing.

So by your definition, this would be standing?



I would argue it's more of a sitting position than a standing position. I would assume "standing" to mean (more or less) fully erect.

I say this is standing.



This is sitting with full or partial cheek contact.

 

[The Flame]

So by your definition, this would be standing?

View attachment 22472

I would argue it's more of a sitting position than a standing position. I would assume "standing" to mean (more or less) fully erect.

I say this is standing.

View attachment 22475

This is sitting with full or partial cheek contact.

View attachment 22474

If people who stand to wipe aren't facing the toilet then I'll agree that standing is insane.

 

[Mark]

enough threats have come out at this point that it's unlikely anyone would admit it going forward even if they disagree.

ONE little threat, and it’s not even a threat. I’ve given out badges and edited accounts for less. Everyone here deserves to be able to identify a doodoo butt.

Damn you, I laughed out loud at this at work. The kids are now giving me weird looks.

Just tell them Americans are weird, their country is on the brink of disaster, and we’re busy arguing over the cleaning potential of upright wiping. Seems simple enough to me.

 

[finlandguy]

Hehehe...

The case about pooping is "in-session."

 

[A Maybe Baker]

Hehehe...

The case about pooping is "in-session."

Who will be brought in for duty

 

[canadaguy]

Hehehe...

The case about pooping is "in-session."

Technically this case is about after pooping



I truly hope stand or sit pooping is not up for debate

 

[A Maybe Baker]

Technically this case is about after pooping



I truly hope stand or sit pooping is not up for debate

Squatty potty or no. That should be the debate.

 

[finlandguy]

Also technically the whole jury on duty will be on stand.

It's rigged from the start.

 

[Jon]

Guys, we give credence to the wrong people by even continuing to discuss this! There is only one right answer!

That said...

Squatty potty or no. That should be the debate.

I fully agree, though I would amend from Squatty Potty to any kind of foot elevation because some of us would need a cheap Walmart footstool that performs identically instead of the name brand that costs 5 times more.

 

[Mark]

Squatty potty or no. That should be the debate.

I fully agree, though I would amend from Squatty Potty to any kind of foot elevation because some of us would need a cheap Walmart footstool that performs identically instead of the name brand that costs 5 times more.

Some of us would be knees-to-chest if we used something like that. Toilet type, height, and user height are all considerations that must be made.

 

[Jon]

Some of us would be knees-to-chest if we used something like that. Toilet type, height, and user height are all considerations that must be made.

SAVE IT FOR THE COURT CASE!

 

[Mark]

SAVE IT FOR THE COURT CASE!

FUCK YOU, LEMME TALK SHIT. FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY.

 

[Jon]

FUCK YOU, LEMME TALK SHIT. FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY.

 

[Mark]

He’s using the car for leverage wrong. Everybody knows you pop the trunk for a nice bench to leverage on when you’re taking vehicular-assisted shits.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

I sit and lean to the left to wipe.

 

[Mark]

I sit and lean to the left to wipe.

Oh, we’re picking sides now?

This is turning into the case of a century.

Donald Trump doesn’t have shit on this.

 

[Fool's Requiem]

I'm more of an independent shitter.

 

[Mark]

I'm more of an independent shitter.

So… a switch shitter, if you will?

 

[VashTheStampede]

What on earth is this thread

Is this like a CAPTCHA to catch COPPA violations?

 

[shortkut]

What on earth is this thread

Is this like a CAPTCHA to catch COPPA violations?